| I think the saints will march in. |
[Aug. 30th, 2008|09:34 am] |
| [ | I'm feeling: |
| |  anxious | ] |
Like they do every hurricane. We can't look at Katrina as evidence that New Orleans' luck has run out. Most of the time we are saved, protected from impending doom. And, with such a gentle name, Gustav can't possibly do anything mean. Either way we find ourselves once again at this juncture. I'm antzy, nervous and my stomach has suddenly grown 10 times bigger. There's gigantic bat like creatures swirling around in there. However, I'm not nervous. It's a weird feeling. I just wish I knew what direction to go in. Can my car handle it? I don't know. Well, here's a much better writer than I am:
Chris Rose
We'll all be back to normal in a week. Just like every other Hurricane before Katrina.
yr. friend,
Guss |
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| Sometimes the squeaky wheel gets replaced. |
[Jul. 31st, 2008|12:01 am] |
| [ | I'm feeling: |
| |  enraged | ] |
The cocaine energy drinks taste like spicy shit that's been hiding in the ass of a hooker for enough time that it's developed a serious problem called gonorrhea.
Yay!
Today I was accused of being a racist. I was told that I didn't give her the level of customer service that was expected. I ignored her yesterday and made the black girl who was working on the sandwich line make her sandwich. How racist of me. Today I ignored her because I was getting someone else's sandwich and talking to them (they were white!) So, therefore because I was helping those who came before them and just because I was talking to them at the time, I'm a white supremacist. "Let me tell you something, you work here and you got to deal with people of all races and colors. And I'm going to go to your manager and tell him about your racist tendencies." First of all you ignoramus I know I have to deal with stupid people like you. I am antistupid, not anti black. I don't care what color you are, I'll hate you. I'm equal oppurtunity goddamn it. If I'm anything it's a fucking vile empty void of a human being who thrives on the hatred I create. I can't be blamed because I want to talk to some Europeans whom are not the same cookie cutter personality that I'm used to.
Why do I want to kick you in the taint until you pass out from the pain. I'll waterboard the fuck outta you just because you asked a stupid question. I hate myself for feeling that way. But, when stuff like that happens, just at a turning point where I'm starting to regain my faith in humanity. I get hit with this kind of foolishness. I began to wonder if I was on some kind of hidden camera show. It's ridiculous how I'm feeling, all I want to do is sleep all day and be quiet. I don't want to deal with people anymore. Nobody interests me. I've lost my joie d'vivre. I try to be happy, I try to be forgiving and understanding. People like this lady do no good for anyone. Especially not me. I try my best, I try harder than my best. No matter what happens though I can't think straight and I can't seem to defend myself, or communicate a matter eloquently like I used to. I'm just drifting and I'm quite sick of it. But, something in me, that I should have figured out by now (psychology...) I just can't seem to work through my problems. I'm going to bed now. I want to wake up early enough so that I can go to the gym get a haircut. |
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| America is bliss. |
[May. 6th, 2008|01:02 pm] |
| [ | I'm feeling: |
| | rolling around in my grave. | ] |
I often wonder why I genuinely cannot stand most people I come into contact with at work. The customers are certainly not involved in any brain trust. But, I often give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they really don't know how to look and observe before asking me a question. Perhaps they just had a bad day, or maybe I'm in a crabby mood and so therefore they mimic my bad behavior. I don't know.
But, then I watch something on Television, the great invention of America. Television, good God where did it go wrong? Just like the internet with a promise of a better life, more news, staying informed and so forth, we just turn our technology into ratings wars and people hitting their very precious nutsacks with hammers, or two girls and one cup, etc. But, what I just saw on Spike TV, the television station that's so male oriented that it's dripping testosterone covered cheeseburgers and hot rods so fast that John Glenn would have trouble with the g forces produced, was so utterly mind boggingly retarded, nay fucktardedly, Jimmy kidsian that I must say I lost several brain cells in the process of listening to this woman's sentence.
The scene:
A rodeo, 5 people sitting around a poker table playing a deadly game of cards. A bull being the deadly part of said game is released. At first he seems like he's a fairly jovial fellow. Nothing out of the ordinary for a 4000 pound beast made of solid muscle and bone, the very essence of masculinity...from the dawn of time bulls have been worshipped as male fertility gods. Which is why matadors are held in such high esteem where bullfighting is still practiced. Anyway, like an angry 16 year old boy punching holes in the walls in his house and looking for an outlet for his anger, this very pleasant looking death machine stops in his tracks, locks on to the game of poker and decides to play "I'm gonna fuck up whatever is in my way right now, namely this lady here and her male counterpart."
The lady describing the horror says:
"I didn't think there would be any danger involved. Since they asked for volunteers from the audience."
Really? You never once thought to yourself "this here's one big motherfucker, and last time I checked, I think it was when I was about ten years old, my mommy told me 'Sally, bulls are mean and deadly and if you're ever offered the oppurtunity to play a game of poker in a bull pen where a live bull gets released, you just sit there like the little lady I know you are and will always be and kindly say 'no thank you sir, I'd rather not die today.' And give that nice man a smile and a wink for he may take you home and make you his wife."
Really? REALLY??? |
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| A Failed Seeker |
[Mar. 7th, 2008|11:44 am] |
So, I find myself in a bit of a bad place once again. Nothing serious, just a need to feel like I'm appreciated for what I do. Underappreciation is the name of the game, and I've just realized suddenly what kind of organization I work for. No offense to those out there who are high school dropouts (my father, if I'm not mistaken being one of them), but goddamn people get your degree or stop waxing intellectual. A colleague of mine recently leaned over and whispered while we were at a meeting "Since when did she become our spokesperson?" She can pack a mean pound of chicken salad and really work fast, but when it comes to communication or getting an idea across, it can be boiled down to "I love Whole Foods, I've memorized the gig book and I'm a fucking retard who knows exactly what rhetoric to let dribble out of my gaping pie hole of a mouth". Now, don't get me wrong, I love retards. They're cool people. If they know their place. Take one of our dishwashers for example. When he comes up to me with his gigantic smile that smacks of a complete lack of cognitive capacity, I fucking revel in it. He's a cool person and his life couldn't be any shittier. But, he says "fuck 'em all, Guss...I don't take any shit from these people. They tell me something and I just ignore them." Thank God...really for people like that.
But, the fact that the leadership (and equipment) in my department consists of (in no particular order):
1 team leader hell bent on making everyone miserable with her incessant micromanaging skills, and complete lack of any knowledge of how anything really works.
1 assistant team leader who is a damn nice guy but a really bad character actor reminiscent of one of those middle aged men who likes to do community theatre and is completely stressed out to the point of smoking copious amounts of marijuana just to cope with the severe shortage of working appliances in our kitchen, which isn't really a kitchen to begin with, I mean it technically has an oven, and a stove, but I'll be goddamned if for the last year and a half I've been there that oven has been capable of performing its duties of cooking food at a steady temperature for no more than 15% of that time. The other 85% it is in disrepair, abused misuse to where we have to on a constant basis figure out how to cook a fucking chicken to done without using it. And, if we by some miracle of jerry rigging ghetto engineering magnificence, we get it to work for a total of two days at a time, those two days will be the two days where we have no and I mean no food whatsoever to cook in the thing.
2 front end supervisors who are nothing but yes men, but I have to give it to the kid my age. He sure is a cool person. I think I could see him actually doing something right with this department for once. The other one, who lacks a sense of humor whatsoever (which is why I think he gets along with the TL so well, her sense of humor being that of a nazi gestapo agent who has been constipated for the past week and who just found out his great great uncle twice removed is a Jew).
He's a fuckass of the first degree. Funny how it all works out, really.
But, it just makes me really resentful of my position in this great cosmic game of Russian roulette And, please there is no need to comment and tell me to "do something about it", because if you think I have not thought of that before, you're wrong It's not that I don't want to do anything about my shit luck, it's just that I'd rather see how far I can be pushed Because, these people I work for are becoming dumber by the minute, nay second How does one listen with any respect to these dregs of society? Am I just too conceited to really appreciate what they're saying? Is the recession finally getting to me? Have I lost whatever faith in humanity I had left? It truly is a scary time to be living God bless those hippies who thought they had it rough, they sure left us a shit storm laced with lsd dreams and opium freakouts (deliberately reversed)
yr. friend,
Guss |
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| singular selections slicing slimy samples sacreligiously |
[Feb. 15th, 2008|10:11 am] |
| [ | I'm feeling: |
| |  accomplished | ] |
As you may have guessed, I made a chocolate mousse yesterday. I've never had trouble cooking anything before. But, Christ almighty that shit's rough to figure out. I went through 3 packets of unflavored gelatin trying to figure out how to "Bloom" the stuff, then the chocolate seized up on me, and that was a bitch to fix. Luckily I had my good friend Alton Brown help me figure it out. I also made saffron rice, which rules cause it's so damn tasty. The green beans and pine nuts with lemon-butter sauce tied in well with the citrus undertones of my seared salmon. All in all a great dinner. Great St. Valentine's really.
Also, I jammed with a friend of mine from work who plays drums. I'm really excited to see where this goes. That was not yesterday but last week on thursday. |
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| Writer's Block: Coffee Or Tea? |
[Feb. 6th, 2008|07:31 pm] |
Wellsir, Katie bought me an awesome French press for Christmas. And, I love it. It has greatly improved my life. I freshly grind it and add hot water and let it steep. It rules! |
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| tabla rasa |
[Jan. 22nd, 2008|07:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | WF | ] |
| [ | Ich höre gern: |
| | CNN | ] |
What is it about you that I can't stand? Is it my own self-loathing? What about all these morbid fantasies I have, the way I can so easily devise an exotic, different way to kill? I can think of a million! And, they're vivid. Wrenches, skulls, their finally meeting in a glorious display of bone shrapnel and hot, red vino. Gorgeous! But, will it ever come to fruition? I pray every day that it won't. I also hope that my feelings of disgust for most people whom I've only interacted with through class will fade away as I realize that everyone has their own story. What's the deal with these feelings? It must be because sometimes I find myself thinking about offing myself. Not as much as before, but it builds up and explodes. I think I'm avoiding it by creating these dastardly visions. I sometimes wish the mafia dream were still alive. I'd be a great enforcer, or maybe not. I'd probably fuck it up somehow and get too excited. But, it would be a run. Oh how they'd all be destroyed! I am the alpha and the omega! Fear me! |
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| A man is not judged by the failures, but by his ability to kick ass and take names - Guss |
[Jan. 4th, 2008|12:42 pm] |
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Sweet ramblings of my friend scotch, like sugar plum fairies of yesteryear, dance around in my head. Well, they did several hours ago. I went to the coolest New Years Eve celebration I can ever hope to attend. There was an amazingly large fire that shot up embers of orange, and as they danced around each other in a swirling universe of flame and ash I wondered what it was to be a tree, particularly an evergreen. Fireworks, crackers and other such nonsense exploded around me and I was overjoyed at the idea of the world blowing up. How gorgeous! Not because I was thinking about death, but rather I was thinking about a cleansing. Something washing over the earth. I guess new years time is a time where there is something that washes over us, reinventing us and providing us all new oppurtunities. How redundant! Why then do we hopelessly try to make this new year better? For the past several years I've made it a point to not really make any resolutions but rather to make myself a generally better person. I feel like this has succeeded for the most part. However, I've found myself at the end of 2007 a bit of a monster, hurting people I love and embarrasing them. I'm sorry for that. And I mean that with as much inflection as my monotone voice can muster. I love you all and I was in a bad place. May life be better for us all. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 11th, 2007|12:36 pm] |
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I made this awesome chocolate sauce. I was very proud of my achievements. The practical applications of it are endless. It could potentially be used as a hot fudge over a really fresh vanilla bean ice cream, or even a high end "catsup" as I called it last night. See, what I did was made some sweet potato fries. I coated them with brown sugar, black pepper (just now I typed "black people"...I have no idea what that means), cinnamon, cocoa powder (not the hot chocolate mix), and herbs de provence. It was tasty as all get out. I love experimenting with new food ideas. I'd love to try something else. I want to have a party where I showcase my culinary skills for some kind of rich person who decides to hire me, albeit completely impractical, it's still a fun little fantasy that I have sometimes. Even thinking about how many clients I could possibly have in order to make a living being some kind of special hired chef for the wealthy. I bet it'd be fun. I bumped into John Goodman at Whole Foods recently. He kind of spoke near me which is about as much as I can expect. Cause you know that I'm way too starstruck to say what I want to tell him. "WOAH! It's Walter! Fuck it dude, let's go bowling!!!" and then I'd go bowling with John Goodman and he'd be this really friendly guy and I'd make a movie star friend. I wonder what kind of car he drives. I've never seen him in the parking lot. It seems like he comes in from the rafters when he hits the WF. I've also seen Emeril Lagasse come in and buy some olives from specialty. I'm bored and I want to go do something fun. Too bad I have work. May take a vacation soon. I won't go anywhere special, just maybe to slidell to sleep in the guest area of my godmother's house. Seems like a fun idea, and with the weather the way it's been I could probably use the pool too. |
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| Just some random thoughts... |
[Nov. 16th, 2007|11:39 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Library at Loyola | ] |
| [ | I'm feeling: |
| | grumpy | ] |
| [ | Ich höre gern: |
| | whispers and Miss Rosario(she's loud) | ] |
I just found a new bathroom in Mercy Hall here at Loyola. I really thought that the only Men's room in the entire place was on the first floor. Then I found one on the second and was really excited. See, I love bathrooms. I don't know why but I'm always interested in new bathrooms and what they look like. Plus they're good for things like waste evacuation. Anyway, I'm now 0n a quest to find a men's room on the third floor of said hall. I plan on doing this later today or perhaps on Monday.
Words and phrases I hate:
"actually", "got", "in retrospect", "literally". There are others that I can't stand, but can't remember right now. It's just that I've heard these words so often that they make me cringe. I mean, when I say them I get chills and a nauseous feeling in my stomach.
yr. friend,
Guss
P.S.
If you read this, (Ned especially) my phone is out of commission and it will probably be about a week before I get a new one. So, bear with me. Plus, I need everyone's numbers again. |
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| New Orleans |
[Nov. 12th, 2007|11:20 pm] |
For those of you who love New Orleans as much as I do:
cool little video |
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| This is a test. |
[Nov. 3rd, 2007|12:37 pm] |
This is to test firefox's new blog editor called scribefire. It's pretty cool. I suggest you dl it if you're into blogging and whatnot
Powered by ScribeFire. |
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| quick one: |
[Sep. 20th, 2007|09:37 am] |
Nothing special. Yesterday was talk like a pirate day. Did no talking like a pirate whatsoever. Kinda sad about that.
I need to see across the universe. I want to see it. Any takers? |
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| Cops and Robbers |
[Aug. 26th, 2007|11:12 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | Ich höre gern: |
| | the sound of cars going down my street as I wait for rain | ] |
Earlier this morning as I was walking down Bourbon; I see several police officers and state troopers. Thinking it was a routine headbust operation I decide to walk toward it. As I'm about to pass the intersection where the cop cars are, I see four men carrying out a violently disgruntled male of African American persuasion. As the four officers each have one of his limbs, it's a very interesting scene. This guy's getting carried out and he's yelling "fuck you! get the fuck offa me, I'll fucking kill you." and other such threats. I'll have to do some research to find out what he was doing and why he was dragged out of a bar handcuffed and manhandled. Very interesting scene. Good times.
Reminds me of a story my old 10th grade biology teacher told us once involving him and a guy hopped up on goofballs. This happened when he was a cop by the way.
"So, this guy comes at me. He's on PCP which as anyone in here knows is a helluva drug. Nothing hurts you when you have that shit coursing through your veins. For the record, it's what the incredible hulk actually got a hold of. Gamma Rays my ass. Anyway, this guy comes charging at me and I decide the best course of action is to use my billy club as a baseball bat and decide to swing it into his ribs. This has little effect other than to arouse contempt and anger in the beast. I swing again into the other set of his ribs and he still doesn't stop. Then I went for both his arms, first swinging and breaking the right then the left. In a fit of frenzy, this freak still had not stopped. So, I bashed my club into his skull several times giving him a possible concussion. Think that stopped him? Well, you're wrong. He still kept coming. At this point I decided I should probably start putting bullets into his heart. So, I remove my pistol and as I'm about to pull the trigger, the vice squad came and threw a net over his head. They saved my life that night."
good times. I'll fucking kill you!!
yr. friend,
Guss |
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| Roommate needed!! |
[Jul. 17th, 2007|12:01 pm] |
| [ | I'm feeling: |
| | anxious | ] |
Seriously, I really do. My roommate has seemed to leave me to fend for myself. If anyone has any need for a place or if you know of a place I can stay, let me know. I'm needy! |
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| I'm addicted to "How It's Made" |
[Jun. 28th, 2007|08:30 am] |
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That show has the qualities of my favorite segment of "Mr. Roger's neighborhood". I like to consider myself a conniseur of factory and production footage. It's addicting. Much like Bob Ross' painting, I'm completely mellowed out while watching it. I sometimes equate it to when one picks up a kitten at the neck and it just turns into a heroin addict. It's good stuff. |
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| Turning gray on me. |
[Jun. 26th, 2007|02:53 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | the relaxatorium | ] |
| [ | I'm feeling: |
| | cynical | ] |
| [ | Ich höre gern: |
| | I'll give you one guess...(pink floyd...DUH!) | ] |
Ever have one of those days that you wish you could bottle up forever, and sip on eternally like the finest, smoothest scotch to ever touch your lips? I have and, I've often wondered why the human psyche acts the way it does. Misjudging, misguiding and keeping the owner of the mind relatively in the dark. Totally unaware of what's actually going on in the rest of the world. We're not necessarily islands, but I'm certain that we're peninsulas, and that the connection we have to the outside world isn't the strongest most well put together conduit that it could be.
Like a million Christmas tree pine needles, sometimes I wish I could pick up days and relive them forever. Perhaps that is what is wrong with humanity. We have memories. Memories make us the most depressed, most confused. What if we were to live solely in the moment at hand? We would have no anxieties, no preparation at all to worry about. Reminiscing about the past, thinking about things we miss, things we never really wanted to ever change have. We grow up, we get bitter. Slowly we die inside. Sickening how things work, no?
Things change so rapidly that we never notice them, and then when it happens, we're so blindsided by it, like a silver flash of gofuckyourself that we're that much more flabbergasted. Weeks become days become hours become minutes become seconds and that high that you felt is gone forever. Nothing like that first inhale, that first rail or bump or piece of blotter. Why is that? Why can't the next be that much more intense than the last? Why can't days get better, things get better? Why is everything we do maintenance? Why can't things be improved instead? I'd like to actually accomplish something worthwhile for once, but all I see is the same routine everyday. 26 chickens, 60 pounds of breastmeat. I'm missing an ingredient. I get frustrated, silent and I want to end it all.
I miss what I can never get back and that's what hurts the most.
yr. friend,
Guss |
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| Law and Order... |
[Jun. 19th, 2007|02:48 pm] |
Is what I'm watching as I have only 3 to 5 minutes before I need to get downstairs to clock in for work. Started the working out thing again. Makes me feel good, alive so to speak. I'm happy that I've decided to take an active role in my health instead of just having it you know sneak up on me. Although I do feel like I'm way out of shape and kind of embarrassed to be in the gym with the people who are healthy and active. But, we all have to start somewhere. People are coming in and out. Got an important event coming up. Several actually.
The historical accuracy of the holocaust:
Something that I just heard on Law and Order. I've never understood why people would question that. Did it really exist or not? What would a Jew have to gain from faking a large scale genocide?
Times up, I have to go. Oh, and if anyone was wondering why I haven't been posting, it's because I would write a long entry and worry that it wasn't up to par, or that I was afraid that things would be misconstrued. Anyhow, I have to leave for real now.
yr. friend,
Guss |
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| His blood still stains the street. |
[Apr. 29th, 2007|12:12 pm] |
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Driving home from Whole Foods the other night, I noticed a disturbing scene on the opposite side of Causeway from where I was. In the middle of the road lay a man, not breathing and his arm severed. There was a pool of blood near him and it was extremely graphic. I was pretty traumatized. Aren't the police supposed to prevent us from seeing that? Anyway, here's the small article they had in the times picayune about him. You may have to put in your gender, zip and DOB before reading. |
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